In In Their Words, writers published in The Feedsack answer questions about their work and sometimes read it aloud. This time it’s Leila Peleg, whose poem “The Truth Is” ran here on October 27.
Where do you write these days?
I find myself writing all my poems on the treadmill. I usually forget that I’m walking in an intense uphill climb and I’ll look down at the timer to see I’ve been speed-walking for an hour. It’s almost as if my writing is the energy which fuels me.
Which poets or writers do you count as major influences in your work?
This specific poem was heavily influenced by the writing style of Clint Smith. I love his work in Counting Descent. The way he structures his poems made me very intentional in the way I formatted “The Truth Is.”
Do you write every day or when the moment strikes?
As a high school student, you can see me writing every day. Whether for AP Lit, AP Research, or an email to a teacher, I am constantly jotting down information.
Some words are in capitals, whole or in part: “BEES,” “SEA,” “DEstroying,” “DEtails,” “EFFiciency.” What do the capitals do for you?
It might be a little cliche, or obvious I should say, but the capital letters represent letter grades. BEES = B, SEA = C, DE = D, and so forth. The poem follows a ladder of falling letter grades, representing how the pressure to maintain perfect grades is often the very thing which makes them slip. The looming presence of perfection causes stress, and I’ve seen too many teenagers like me feel unworthy because they don’t fit in the world of standardization.
The bracketed stanzas, from “[I’m sitting in apple sauce” to “Missing playtime],” are a memory, with “The red-headed lady” asking “What tips your bucket?” Is that a real memory?
This is a real memory! My old counselor in elementary school had the brightest red hair, and it was honestly one of the only things I remember about her. (Hey, don’t blame me, I was in 3rd grade!) We used to always do a lesson about “tipping someone’s bucket,” or doing something that makes a peer upset which would cause their “liquid” (happiness) to spill. It seems that everything I did when I was a little kid was put into simple terms with room for forgiveness, but now while grounded in reality, I realize that the same grace is not given to teenagers such as myself.
The poem ends on “Nothing but a mere column to delete.” Where did that image come from?
I’ve always been a little scared of the SAT. (Thank goodness that’s over now!) I have horrible testing anxiety, which I have thankfully vastly improved on; however, I still struggle to take tests, focusing on the noise around me and second guessing every move I make. I got a good SAT score, but in my area it feels as if everyone has a 1500+.
I was having a talk with somebody who used to be an admissions officer and when I brought it up to her, she said, and I quote, “yeah if I see your test score is under our [college] threshold I’ll probably just delete your column”. I sat there in complete shock. I thought to myself: what about my extracurriculars? My essay? My recommendations? Even though I know many admissions officers would probably not agree with her statement, it continuously runs around in my head. So I guess you could say that line is a tribute to her. Maybe it’s petty, but that’s what happened.
Your bio says you’re theatrical and decided to try writing your own poetry. How long have you been writing?
I know this sounds cheesy, but I’ve seriously been writing since the womb. I think I popped out saying, “to be or not to be?” Jk, but sometimes I do stumble upon notebooks with horrible poetry, like rhyming cat with hat or bad with mad, but honestly without my 2nd grade self and her need to create, I would never be the writer that I am today. I was first published at 13 years old and I have been consistently writing poetry since then. I even started my own lit mag tied to a nonprofit that my friend started! I love poetry, I love writing, I love reading, I love acting, and I LOVE to create.
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